We are FINALLY on track to close on the Taj MaHell! After so many screw-ups, delays and episodes of downright numb-skullery that it boggles the mind, we are putting pen to paper tomorrow afternoon!
Rather than drive 5 hours to the closing agency, we are paying an additional $275 to close here in the Greater Gilligan Area. We figured it was worth it in the long run to pay the closing agency their $75 close-by-mail fee and the local attorney $200 to sit on her butt and witness as we sign our names. (Note to self: have soul, decency and sense of justice removed and go to law school. We need the money.)
We called the roofer we'd selected and went about making plans for him to replace the Taj roof. He came back with an amount that was almost twice the original bid. And I pooped in my drawers. After some back and forth and a reminder of the original bid amount, we got a verbal agreement to do the job for the original amount (followed up by a written one on its way) and a start date of next week. I'm fool enough to be hopeful it actually happens that way. Because ANYthing happening in the time estimated or for the amount estimated would be a real novelty at this point...and the sad thing is, we haven't even GOTTEN STARTED YET. Ahem. Was I yelling? I do apologize.
So, the good news is that we're finally closing on the property. I'm trying to just focus on the good and let go of the frustration of dealing with these morons. Soon enough, they'll be out of our lives. And not a moment too soon! And before I let it all go in a Zen-infused moment of release, here is a recap of the events of today:
8:30am-1:00pm Numerous attempts to get idiot at closing agency to respond to request for info on how to close by mail, along with request for full amount due (this was the SEVENTH request for the amount due. Incidentally, we STILL don't know it)
10:00am Call to friend/neighbor who is a real estate attorney. He gently refused to witness our signatures, feeling that it was an attempt by the closing agency to shirk their liability. Note: I am NOT annoyed with this guy; on the contrary, I really appreciate him being up-front about all this.
1:00pm Call listing agent, who assures us there's nothing hinky about an attorney witnessing our signatures. Check Yellow Pages for real estate attorneys, call one near us with an Irish name (what? there are other criteria for attorney selection?) and learn that they have dealt with the closing agency before and will happily babysit us while we sign our names. Appointment set for 2:00pm tomorrow.
2:00pm Finally receive the closing packet. It is in another buyer's name and dates from February. The documents also show a purchase price of $42,000....$20,000 more than our purchase price. Email bigfatstupidhead at the closing agency and remind her who we are and that this is, in fact, June. Correct closing packet sent and reviewed.
3:30pm Call from listing agent, who is extremely annoyed because the closing agency has called HER to request that WE get them the local attorney's name and contact info. Listing agent perplexed as to why they couldn't just call US? Advised her it would mean that they would actually have to ACKNOWLEDGE OUR EXISTENCE. And we can't have that!
4:00pm Shawn goes out to put the windshield on his motorcycle and forget the whole thing for a while. I call the Mayberry electrical inspector and leave a message, pleading with him to meet me at the Taj this Friday, if at all possible, so that I can get the inspection done and *hopefully* get an electrician to look at it/give me a bid before I have to leave the Taj next Wednesday.
Present time: I'm off to finish packing for my trek to the Taj. Tank and I will leave on Thursday afternoon and return next Wednesday at some point. Shawn has to work this weekend, so he will come on Sunday and leave with us on Wednesday. Internet access in the 'berry is iffy at best, so updates may have to wait til our return.
And now it's time to get to work!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Taj Update!
Well, whaddaya know? The closing agency rep actually contacted us late Friday to say that our closing on the Taj MaHell is set for this Tuesday at 3:30pm.
Because she notified us so late, I couldn't get in touch to verify that we can close by mail/fax/overnight document, nor was I able to get an actual amount that we needed to pay. Closing fees are still a mystery, apparently. Maybe it's top secret and we just don't have the level of security clearance to know this sort of thing.
So, the good news is that we may finally close on Tuesday. The bad news is, I may spend Monday running around, getting a power of attorney so that I can sign for both of us, if I end up having to drive 5 hours to the office of the closing agency. I am DESPERATELY hoping that is not the case!
More on this as I figure out which end is up....
Because she notified us so late, I couldn't get in touch to verify that we can close by mail/fax/overnight document, nor was I able to get an actual amount that we needed to pay. Closing fees are still a mystery, apparently. Maybe it's top secret and we just don't have the level of security clearance to know this sort of thing.
So, the good news is that we may finally close on Tuesday. The bad news is, I may spend Monday running around, getting a power of attorney so that I can sign for both of us, if I end up having to drive 5 hours to the office of the closing agency. I am DESPERATELY hoping that is not the case!
More on this as I figure out which end is up....
Friday, June 24, 2011
Friday Musings
Hope that you are doing well this Friday. As I write, the sun has decided to finally peek out from behind heavy cloud cover. After about three months of drought, Gilligan's Island got POUNDED with rain yesterday. I ventured across the causeway and was immediately sorry; there were 2-foot-deep puddles on the sides of the causeway and the rain was lashing sideways. While I was gone, Shawn sent me a photo from his phone...two neighbor kids in a canoe. In our FRONT YARD. So, yeah, rain. We has it.
Called and emailed the closing agency contact person to see if we were, in fact, on target to close on Tuesday. No luck reaching her and no return call or email. Apparently, this real estate transaction is destined to be steeped in mystery and intrigue.
Well, I'm not usually one to be content with sitting and waiting, but a sore back/neck/shoulder has really slowed me down, so I think I'll take the hint and go easy this weekend.
Why don't you do the same? Or, if you get into some sort of trouble, tell me all about it!
Called and emailed the closing agency contact person to see if we were, in fact, on target to close on Tuesday. No luck reaching her and no return call or email. Apparently, this real estate transaction is destined to be steeped in mystery and intrigue.
Well, I'm not usually one to be content with sitting and waiting, but a sore back/neck/shoulder has really slowed me down, so I think I'll take the hint and go easy this weekend.
Why don't you do the same? Or, if you get into some sort of trouble, tell me all about it!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Whatever happened to.....
...the Taj MaHell?
The frantic pace of the bidding process has given way to the paperwork equivalent of a race between molasses and a turtle. I have no idea who would win that race, but I can tell you this: it would be one boring-arse event.
After receiving our latest update on Monday, June 13th (at which time the closing agency was waiting on a water bill), we heard a big fat NOTHING until Monday the 20th. Our contract had expired on the 17th...way to go, Closing Agency, for letting that happen! The new update said we needed an amended contract. So, I contacted the listing agent, who was actually out of town but still FAR more responsive than the closing attorney, and she quickly drafted a contract extension and emailed it to me. We signed it and emailed it to the online auction contact, the closing attorney and the listing agent. I also sent a request to the closing attorney's office, asking if we could confirm that there were no other items outstanding. Do you think I've heard back from them? Yeah, right. (There should really be a 'sarcasm font' on my computer---I would wear. it. out.)
So, if all goes smoothly (insane laughter), we should close "on or before June 28th'. Mind you, in the meantime we can't go on the premises and make any changes or improvements. I am SO TIRED of waiting. I am also tired of tools crammed into my dining room. Oh, and did I mention I got a compound miter saw with the stand? It's sitting in a box on my kitchen counter.
So, come ON, people! Let's get this deal DONE!
The frantic pace of the bidding process has given way to the paperwork equivalent of a race between molasses and a turtle. I have no idea who would win that race, but I can tell you this: it would be one boring-arse event.
After receiving our latest update on Monday, June 13th (at which time the closing agency was waiting on a water bill), we heard a big fat NOTHING until Monday the 20th. Our contract had expired on the 17th...way to go, Closing Agency, for letting that happen! The new update said we needed an amended contract. So, I contacted the listing agent, who was actually out of town but still FAR more responsive than the closing attorney, and she quickly drafted a contract extension and emailed it to me. We signed it and emailed it to the online auction contact, the closing attorney and the listing agent. I also sent a request to the closing attorney's office, asking if we could confirm that there were no other items outstanding. Do you think I've heard back from them? Yeah, right. (There should really be a 'sarcasm font' on my computer---I would wear. it. out.)
So, if all goes smoothly (insane laughter), we should close "on or before June 28th'. Mind you, in the meantime we can't go on the premises and make any changes or improvements. I am SO TIRED of waiting. I am also tired of tools crammed into my dining room. Oh, and did I mention I got a compound miter saw with the stand? It's sitting in a box on my kitchen counter.
So, come ON, people! Let's get this deal DONE!
The Complex World of Kiddie Pools
Um, yeah. About that pool...
Well, we apparently didn't have as level a back yard as we'd thought, because once it was full, the entire soft-sided pool began listing precariously to port. Hard a-port, as the seafaring types might say. Within just an hour or so of being filled, the big pouty lip of the inflated top ring was poised to move from pouty to full-blown droop and drown our poor A/C units. It is so effin' hot here on the Gilligan that I would not think twice about throwing my body in front of the onrushing tide, if I thought it could save the air conditioning.
So, we drained the pool, which was shaping up to take for-stinkin-everrrr until my knight in shining armor brought home a submersible pump. We got to work in the blistering heat with shovels, rakes and hoes (tee-hee, we had 'hos working out in the yard!) and we leveled a new spot for the pool. What with the chemicals, the telescoping net to fish leaves and bugs out, the test strips, the sump pump, the tarp to go under the pool and two straight days of courting heat exhaustion working on it, our $80 pool is now worth about $1,657,925. And some change.
But, oh, how Tank loves his pool! He LURVES it. It is his most slobbery lip-kiss-iest love of all. He squeals with joy and kick-kick-kicks his chubby legs when we head outside to play in the pool.
And unlike last year's 12-inch inflatable wading pool that lived on our back deck, we can actually get in this pool and enjoy it along with him. That makes Mama happy...and a happy Mama is a (mostly) non-homicidal Mama.
Bring on the heat!
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Well, we apparently didn't have as level a back yard as we'd thought, because once it was full, the entire soft-sided pool began listing precariously to port. Hard a-port, as the seafaring types might say. Within just an hour or so of being filled, the big pouty lip of the inflated top ring was poised to move from pouty to full-blown droop and drown our poor A/C units. It is so effin' hot here on the Gilligan that I would not think twice about throwing my body in front of the onrushing tide, if I thought it could save the air conditioning.
So, we drained the pool, which was shaping up to take for-stinkin-everrrr until my knight in shining armor brought home a submersible pump. We got to work in the blistering heat with shovels, rakes and hoes (tee-hee, we had 'hos working out in the yard!) and we leveled a new spot for the pool. What with the chemicals, the telescoping net to fish leaves and bugs out, the test strips, the sump pump, the tarp to go under the pool and two straight days of courting heat exhaustion working on it, our $80 pool is now worth about $1,657,925. And some change.
But, oh, how Tank loves his pool! He LURVES it. It is his most slobbery lip-kiss-iest love of all. He squeals with joy and kick-kick-kicks his chubby legs when we head outside to play in the pool.
And unlike last year's 12-inch inflatable wading pool that lived on our back deck, we can actually get in this pool and enjoy it along with him. That makes Mama happy...and a happy Mama is a (mostly) non-homicidal Mama.
Bring on the heat!
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Monday, June 20, 2011
Bringin' Down Your Property Values
Why, howdy there. How are things with you?
We're in the middle of a scorcher of a June day here...temps at 102 and if you'd like to experience walking outside on Gilligan's Island today, just turn your oven to 450, let it preheat and then cram yourself inside. Oh, but bring along some scalding water, cuz it's not a dry heat.
Partly because of the heat and mostly because of his rambunctiousness, Shawn and I decided to get Tank one of those 32" deep doughboy swimming pools. As I type, garden hoses are working feverishly to fill what could be the ugliest lawn ornament on earth. But you know what? I'll do that for my boy. Besides, it is too hot to go outside and play during the day and there's only so much "Swamp People" I can watch, so I'm willing to give up the air conditioning in favor of some chlorinated water.
The box said the pool would be "ready for water in 15 minutes!" Just like that...with the exclamation point and everything. Obviously, the exclamation mark is Chinese for "HA HA HA, you dumbass!" Because, seriously. Here's how it goes:
Step One: Argue with spouse over proper placement of pool. Win argument. 5 minutes.
Step Two: Rake up leaves, sticks, debris from approved pool placement area. 10 minutes.
Step Three: Open heavy duty tarp packaging and lay tarp down.
Step Three, Substep A: OCD husband franticaly races against inevitability and tries to keep dust, dirt and grass from touching top of tarp.
Step Four: Unfurl pool onto tarp. OCD husband plucks and picks at pool to ensure maximum wrinkle-free enjoyment. 5 minutes.
Step Five: Locate air pump (2 minutes), locate extension cord (1 minute), try to blow up top ring of pool. Keep trying. Air pump won't seat properly in the valve; husband tries to blow up ring. By mouth. In 102 degree heat. Husband wisely gives air pump another try. Total time: 20 minutes.
Step Six: (Occurred simultaneously with Step Five): Wife puts together filter/pump. Using directions cobbled together from English, Chinese and God-knows-what-other-language. Directions are useless; wife uses them to sit on so the ants stop biting her butt. Wife creates new and intriguing combinations of profanities. Wife now coated with petroleum jelly, as per the incomprehensible instructions to lubricate O-rings. Wife now glistens in the sun and has the appearance of a large, sweaty booger. Time: 20 minutes.
Step Seven: Begin filling pool.
Step Eight: Wait. Wait. Wait some more.
Step Nine: Put kid down for nap, promising great fun upon waking.
Step Ten: Drag another garden hose to pool. Turn on full blast. Wait. Wait some more. (Husband departs to get new grips for Wife's motorcycle handlebars)
Step Eleven: Begin scooping out debris already collecting in pool.
Step Twelve: Pool filled. Total time: three hours from box to pool.
And when Tankie wakes up, we'll have the final step: Wildly Excited Toddler.
And that's worth every drop of sweat.
We're in the middle of a scorcher of a June day here...temps at 102 and if you'd like to experience walking outside on Gilligan's Island today, just turn your oven to 450, let it preheat and then cram yourself inside. Oh, but bring along some scalding water, cuz it's not a dry heat.
Partly because of the heat and mostly because of his rambunctiousness, Shawn and I decided to get Tank one of those 32" deep doughboy swimming pools. As I type, garden hoses are working feverishly to fill what could be the ugliest lawn ornament on earth. But you know what? I'll do that for my boy. Besides, it is too hot to go outside and play during the day and there's only so much "Swamp People" I can watch, so I'm willing to give up the air conditioning in favor of some chlorinated water.
The box said the pool would be "ready for water in 15 minutes!" Just like that...with the exclamation point and everything. Obviously, the exclamation mark is Chinese for "HA HA HA, you dumbass!" Because, seriously. Here's how it goes:
Step One: Argue with spouse over proper placement of pool. Win argument. 5 minutes.
Step Two: Rake up leaves, sticks, debris from approved pool placement area. 10 minutes.
Step Three: Open heavy duty tarp packaging and lay tarp down.
Step Three, Substep A: OCD husband franticaly races against inevitability and tries to keep dust, dirt and grass from touching top of tarp.
Step Four: Unfurl pool onto tarp. OCD husband plucks and picks at pool to ensure maximum wrinkle-free enjoyment. 5 minutes.
Step Five: Locate air pump (2 minutes), locate extension cord (1 minute), try to blow up top ring of pool. Keep trying. Air pump won't seat properly in the valve; husband tries to blow up ring. By mouth. In 102 degree heat. Husband wisely gives air pump another try. Total time: 20 minutes.
Step Six: (Occurred simultaneously with Step Five): Wife puts together filter/pump. Using directions cobbled together from English, Chinese and God-knows-what-other-language. Directions are useless; wife uses them to sit on so the ants stop biting her butt. Wife creates new and intriguing combinations of profanities. Wife now coated with petroleum jelly, as per the incomprehensible instructions to lubricate O-rings. Wife now glistens in the sun and has the appearance of a large, sweaty booger. Time: 20 minutes.
Step Seven: Begin filling pool.
Step Eight: Wait. Wait. Wait some more.
Step Nine: Put kid down for nap, promising great fun upon waking.
Step Ten: Drag another garden hose to pool. Turn on full blast. Wait. Wait some more. (Husband departs to get new grips for Wife's motorcycle handlebars)
Step Eleven: Begin scooping out debris already collecting in pool.
Step Twelve: Pool filled. Total time: three hours from box to pool.
And when Tankie wakes up, we'll have the final step: Wildly Excited Toddler.
And that's worth every drop of sweat.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Happy Birthday to the Farm Maven!
Happy birthday to my sister the Farm Maven! Wish I could be there to celebrate with you.
Have a great day and I'll see you soon.
Love,
Baby Chustah
"That's where my angel wings used to be."--Farm Maven
"Really? I thought it was the scar from when I stabbed you with the ironically named safety scissors."-me
Have a great day and I'll see you soon.
Love,
Baby Chustah
"That's where my angel wings used to be."--Farm Maven
"Really? I thought it was the scar from when I stabbed you with the ironically named safety scissors."-me
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