...because everything is funny when it's happening to someone else!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Taj MaHoard

You know those people who seem to be effortlessly "together"?  Their hair is always smooth and styled, their Saturday work-in-the-yard clothes look better than what you wear to work, their houses never seem to get dirty?

I am SO not one of those people.

I love to have friends over, but I really like about an hour's notice, or a half hour, if I've been keeping up with the dishes and laundry.  I can't imagine the stress-free living I could enjoy if ALL the rooms in my house were clean.  AT THE SAME TIME.  I just got chills thinking about it.  A moment, please.


When I was a singleton, working full time and living in rented digs, I was pretty doggone neat and tidy.  My TV remote was always in the exact right spot on the coffee table and my kitchen was always spotless.  It was depressing.  A house that's scarily scrubbed and sanitized is a house that needs a good dose of life in it, if you ask me.

Now, all that is not to say that I have learned to love clutter.  Left to my own devices, I would probably hang approximately 2.4 pictures in an 8-room house.  Every table surface would be bare and I'd never have mail sitting on the end of the counter.  Shawn.  Ahem.

But somewhere along the way to becoming the mother of an insanely active 3-year-old, I let go of some of my housekeeping strictness.  Sometimes, you just gotta toss the toys in a basket and say that's good enough.  I can live with that.


This is just freaking me out:

This is the room formerly known as the dining room in the Gilligan's Island house.  It has become the cram-it-all-in holding pen for items destined for the Taj MaHell.  Here and there, we found some great deals.  Remember the sofa and love seat from Craig's List?  They're in there somewhere.  And then Shawn's friend Amy sold some of her dad's furniture after he passed away, which is where the amazing, huge wicker wingback chair came from, along with the two bedside tables and some other little things.

The big white dresser was a $10 find at last weekend's Gilligan's Island Yard Sale Extravaganza.

And then there's the 40-inch stove:

Better view:

THAT was a lucky find!  The stove at the Taj is an old 40-incher, which apparently was common in the 1940's and 50s, but nowadays, any stove over 36 inches seems to be a professional (read: OMGexpensive) model.  One day, I was trolling the Internets and checked out local appliance listings on The Craig.  Lo and behold, somebody had a 40-inch stove up in there!  It wasn't the stainless, smooth top model I'd decided to splurge on and pay $1700 for....but it was WAY newer than what I had and only cost $250.  And it was literally just down the road from my house!

I took Tank with me to look at it and he so utterly charmed the seller that we got the stove for $200 PLUS free delivery to the house!  And the guy threw in some really neat kids' books for Tankie.  After a little love (new drip pans, new elements), it's looking pretty good.  A lot better than the current, rusty dinosaur at the Taj, so I am all kinds of happy.  I think the non-stick griddle and the additional 12-inch oven will be a lot of fun to play with.  Heck, I might even learn to cook!  Or not.

But....dayum.  I am ready to get all this stuff out of my dining room, especially since it's open to the hallway and the front door and everybody from the mailman to random Boy Scout popcorn salesmen get an eyeful and go away thinking I belong on "Hoarders."


The good news is that the Sainted Singing Plumber is making lots of progress at the Taj and before too long, I think we'll actually be able to put up some drywall and paint.

And then I'm going to sit on my big rear end and watch a full season of "Hoarders." 

Because, obviously.


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