Oh Yes We Did!

Well, howdy-do!  You're looking at a real, live new homeowner here!
Yes, we went to the local attorney's office today, spent 20 minutes and $200 to sign roughly a billion pieces of paper and...voila!  We now have our very own money pit Taj MaHell.

The closing costs were difficult to track, what with all the add-ins and subtract-outs, but the final cost of the house, including closing costs and the additional $275 to close by mail was....$24,150.94.  I don't know why, but that ninety-four cents is just hilarious to me.  Or maybe I'm giddy from the stress.  It's hard to say.

So, time to shift gears from my recent flurry of get-caught-up work around the Island to full-fledged first-time renovation.

I'm awfully excited and I don't mind telling you!  Won't you come along for the ride?

The Sweet Smell of Progress (or did I step in poop?)

We are FINALLY on track to close on the Taj MaHell!  After so many screw-ups, delays and episodes of downright numb-skullery that it boggles the mind, we are putting pen to paper tomorrow afternoon!

Rather than drive 5 hours to the closing agency, we are paying an additional $275 to close here in the Greater Gilligan Area.  We figured it was worth it in the long run to pay the closing agency their $75 close-by-mail fee and the local attorney $200 to sit on her butt and witness as we sign our names.  (Note to self:  have soul, decency and sense of justice removed and go to law school.  We need the money.)

We called the roofer we'd selected and went about making plans for him to replace the Taj roof.  He came back with an amount that was almost twice the original bid.  And I pooped in my drawers.  After some back and forth and a reminder of the original bid amount, we got a verbal agreement to do the job for the original amount (followed up by a written one on its way) and a start date of next week.  I'm fool enough to be hopeful it actually happens that way.  Because ANYthing happening in the time estimated or for the amount estimated would be a real novelty at this point...and the sad thing is, we haven't even GOTTEN STARTED YET.  Ahem.  Was I yelling?  I do apologize.

So, the good news is that we're finally closing on the property.  I'm trying to just focus on the good and let go of the frustration of dealing with these morons.  Soon enough, they'll be out of our lives.  And not a moment too soon!  And before I let it all go in a Zen-infused moment of release, here is a recap of the events of today:

8:30am-1:00pm  Numerous attempts to get idiot at closing agency to respond to request for info on how to close by mail, along with request for full amount due (this was the SEVENTH request for the amount due.  Incidentally, we STILL don't know it)

10:00am  Call to friend/neighbor who is a real estate attorney.  He gently refused to witness our signatures, feeling that it was an attempt by the closing agency to shirk their liability.  Note:  I am NOT annoyed with this guy; on the contrary, I really appreciate him being up-front about all this.

1:00pm  Call listing agent, who assures us there's nothing hinky about an attorney witnessing our signatures.  Check Yellow Pages for real estate attorneys, call one near us with an Irish name (what?  there are other criteria for attorney selection?) and learn that they have dealt with the closing agency before and will happily babysit us while we sign our names.  Appointment set for 2:00pm tomorrow.

2:00pm  Finally receive the closing packet.  It is in another buyer's name and dates from February.  The documents also show a purchase price of $42,000....$20,000 more than our purchase price.  Email bigfatstupidhead at the closing agency and remind her who we are and that this is, in fact, June.  Correct closing packet sent and reviewed.

3:30pm  Call from listing agent, who is extremely annoyed because the closing agency has called HER to request that WE get them the local attorney's name and contact info.  Listing agent perplexed as to why they couldn't just call US?  Advised her it would mean that they would actually have to ACKNOWLEDGE OUR EXISTENCE.  And we can't have that!

4:00pm  Shawn goes out to put the windshield on his motorcycle and forget the whole thing for a while.  I call the  Mayberry electrical inspector and leave a message, pleading with him to meet me at the Taj this Friday, if at all possible, so that I can get the inspection done and *hopefully* get an electrician to look at it/give me a bid before I have to leave the Taj next Wednesday.

Present time:  I'm off to finish packing for my trek to the Taj.  Tank and I will leave on Thursday afternoon and return next Wednesday at some point.  Shawn has to work this weekend, so he will come on Sunday and leave with us on Wednesday.   Internet access in the 'berry is iffy at best, so updates may have to wait til our return.


And now it's time to get to work!

Taj Update!

Well, whaddaya know?  The closing agency rep actually contacted us late Friday to say that our closing on the Taj MaHell is set for this Tuesday at 3:30pm. 

Because she notified us so late, I couldn't get in touch to verify that we can close by mail/fax/overnight document, nor was I able to get an actual amount that we needed to pay.  Closing fees are still a mystery, apparently.  Maybe it's top secret and we just don't have the level of security clearance to know this sort of thing.

So, the good news is that we may finally close on Tuesday.  The bad news is, I may spend Monday running around, getting a power of attorney so that I can sign for both of us, if I end up having to drive 5 hours to the office of the closing agency.  I am DESPERATELY hoping that is not the case!

More on this as I figure out which end is up....

Whatever happened to.....

...the Taj MaHell?

The frantic pace of the bidding process has given way to the paperwork equivalent of a race between molasses and a turtle.  I have no idea who would win that race, but I can tell you this:  it would be one boring-arse event.

After receiving our latest update on Monday, June 13th (at which time the closing agency was waiting on a water bill), we heard a big fat NOTHING until Monday the 20th.  Our contract had expired on the 17th...way to go, Closing Agency, for letting that happen!  The new update said we needed an amended contract.  So, I contacted the listing agent, who was actually out of town but still FAR more responsive than the closing attorney, and she quickly drafted a contract extension and emailed it to me.  We signed it and emailed it to the online auction contact, the closing attorney and the listing agent.  I also sent a request to the closing attorney's office, asking if we could confirm that there were no other items outstanding.  Do you think I've heard back from them?  Yeah, right.  (There should really be a 'sarcasm font' on my computer---I would wear. it. out.)

So, if all goes smoothly (insane laughter), we should close "on or before June 28th'.  Mind you, in the meantime we can't go on the premises and make any changes or improvements.  I am SO TIRED of waiting.  I am also tired of tools crammed into my dining room.  Oh, and did I mention I got a compound miter saw with the stand?  It's sitting in a box on my kitchen counter. 

So, come ON, people!  Let's get this deal DONE!

How Does One Buy a Taj MaHell?

For those of you happily unaware of the fun-filled world of buying houses at auction, here's a brief tutorial:

Step One:  Check your auction sites!  Two that I check frequently are www.realtybid.com and www.auction.com.  Both are easy to navigate and pretty informative.  Once you find a house that interests you, check all the available information on it.  You probably won't get much, other than a few photos, an aerial view of the property and a scary warning that the home does not qualify for conventional financing.

Step Two:  If that hasn't totally scared the crap out of you, look at the bidding history.  When does the auction start, or if it has already started, has anyone bid on the property?  Some hot properties have lots of bidders right away; others may only have one or two people who bid at the very last minute.  If no one is bidding and there are several days left on the auction, you can sit tight and just watch to see what happens.  Or, you can enter a minimum bid as a fishing expedition to see if anyone outbids you.  That lets you know if someone is actively watching the same property.

Step Three:  Go get dirty.  Most auctions have open houses and the dates are listed on the auction site.  GO CHECK OUT THE PROPERTY IN PERSON.  I can't stress this enough!  Go poke around, look in and under everything and make an educated decision about the highest bid you are willing to enter.  Take lots of pictures, too!  Then go home and load them on your computer and look at them over and over.  Check out any visible damage and ALWAYS assume there is more that is not visible!  Whether you are able to personally see the property or not, it's a good idea to decide how much you can afford to put into the property and then subtract the cost of the obvious necessary repairs.  Then, subtract closing costs and internet auction fees, etc.  THEN you have an idea of your maximum bid. 

Step Four:  Bid, Baby, Bid!  Our strategy was to wait until 5 minutes before the auction ended before we even posted our initial bid.  No one bid against us and we were the high bidder.  Success!  Well, not exactly.  Because the seller's reserve wasn't met, the house went into post-auction bidding, which can last for another week.  At any time during that period, the seller can receive a better offer and go with it or simply reject your offer and walk away without selling.  In the end, we went up a little on our price and the seller came down a little on his reserve and we came to an agreement.

Step Five:  The Legal Crap.  Once you have won the auction, in most cases you'll be sent a Purchase Agreement, which is not the same as a contract.  The purchase agreement details what you are agreeing to pay for the property and your understanding of its condition and that it is being sold "as is/where is."  You'll sign that and if the seller likes the numbers, you will THEN receive a contract to sign. 

Step Six:  Now What?!  Once you have a signed contract, you'll complete the closing process and possibly take possession at closing (most auctioned homes are vacant, so this is common).  Have licensed, bonded contractors standing by to give estimates on repairs that must be done right away.


And then the real fun begins!

We have only done minor, cosmetic re-habbing, so undertaking this massive project is a terrifying thought.  We were smart not to risk more money than we had available.  We knew the house had to have a new roof, so we figured an additional $10,000 into our purchase price to make sure we stayed within the numbers we could manage.  Once we put a roof on, we can take our time with most of the other repairs, since they don't have the same potential to damage the structure.

Our time line is something like this:  the auction ended on May 11, 2011.  The next day we received a notice that we had not met the seller's reserve and we learned for the first time what that reserve was.  Over the next 2 days, we went back and forth, each side inching towards the middle.  In the end, we went up from $17,500 to $22,500 and the seller went down from $31,250 to $22,500.  We received an emailed purchase agreement, filled that out, signed and initialled everything and overnighted it to the auction site.  They in turn overnighted a copy of the agreement, along with our $2000 deposit to the seller.  The seller took several days to officially accept the purchase agreement and now we are just waiting for a contract to be sent.  Our tentative closing date is June 17th and we will take possession at closing, so auctions tend to move pretty fast!

This post is long and way too full of details, so I'll stop here and we'll cover some of the fun stuff in a later post!