...because everything is funny when it's happening to someone else!

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Sweet Smell of Progress (or did I step in poop?)

We are FINALLY on track to close on the Taj MaHell!  After so many screw-ups, delays and episodes of downright numb-skullery that it boggles the mind, we are putting pen to paper tomorrow afternoon!

Rather than drive 5 hours to the closing agency, we are paying an additional $275 to close here in the Greater Gilligan Area.  We figured it was worth it in the long run to pay the closing agency their $75 close-by-mail fee and the local attorney $200 to sit on her butt and witness as we sign our names.  (Note to self:  have soul, decency and sense of justice removed and go to law school.  We need the money.)

We called the roofer we'd selected and went about making plans for him to replace the Taj roof.  He came back with an amount that was almost twice the original bid.  And I pooped in my drawers.  After some back and forth and a reminder of the original bid amount, we got a verbal agreement to do the job for the original amount (followed up by a written one on its way) and a start date of next week.  I'm fool enough to be hopeful it actually happens that way.  Because ANYthing happening in the time estimated or for the amount estimated would be a real novelty at this point...and the sad thing is, we haven't even GOTTEN STARTED YET.  Ahem.  Was I yelling?  I do apologize.

So, the good news is that we're finally closing on the property.  I'm trying to just focus on the good and let go of the frustration of dealing with these morons.  Soon enough, they'll be out of our lives.  And not a moment too soon!  And before I let it all go in a Zen-infused moment of release, here is a recap of the events of today:

8:30am-1:00pm  Numerous attempts to get idiot at closing agency to respond to request for info on how to close by mail, along with request for full amount due (this was the SEVENTH request for the amount due.  Incidentally, we STILL don't know it)

10:00am  Call to friend/neighbor who is a real estate attorney.  He gently refused to witness our signatures, feeling that it was an attempt by the closing agency to shirk their liability.  Note:  I am NOT annoyed with this guy; on the contrary, I really appreciate him being up-front about all this.

1:00pm  Call listing agent, who assures us there's nothing hinky about an attorney witnessing our signatures.  Check Yellow Pages for real estate attorneys, call one near us with an Irish name (what?  there are other criteria for attorney selection?) and learn that they have dealt with the closing agency before and will happily babysit us while we sign our names.  Appointment set for 2:00pm tomorrow.

2:00pm  Finally receive the closing packet.  It is in another buyer's name and dates from February.  The documents also show a purchase price of $42,000....$20,000 more than our purchase price.  Email bigfatstupidhead at the closing agency and remind her who we are and that this is, in fact, June.  Correct closing packet sent and reviewed.

3:30pm  Call from listing agent, who is extremely annoyed because the closing agency has called HER to request that WE get them the local attorney's name and contact info.  Listing agent perplexed as to why they couldn't just call US?  Advised her it would mean that they would actually have to ACKNOWLEDGE OUR EXISTENCE.  And we can't have that!

4:00pm  Shawn goes out to put the windshield on his motorcycle and forget the whole thing for a while.  I call the  Mayberry electrical inspector and leave a message, pleading with him to meet me at the Taj this Friday, if at all possible, so that I can get the inspection done and *hopefully* get an electrician to look at it/give me a bid before I have to leave the Taj next Wednesday.

Present time:  I'm off to finish packing for my trek to the Taj.  Tank and I will leave on Thursday afternoon and return next Wednesday at some point.  Shawn has to work this weekend, so he will come on Sunday and leave with us on Wednesday.   Internet access in the 'berry is iffy at best, so updates may have to wait til our return.

And now it's time to get to work!


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